 Todd “Evan” Bianco has written about cars and Los Angeles on his website acarisnotarefrigerator.com from his West Hollywood base for many years. |
Everything that makes this car so fun also makes it hard to live with.
The heart of the MINI is its drivetrain. The little inline 1.6 liter, direct-inject turbocharged engine produces 172 hp with 177 lb-ft torque delivered over a broad range of engine speeds. This piece of engineering wizardry, a product of a BMW/Renault joint venture in France, uses variable turbo-vane technology. At lower engine speeds, the vanes are closer together; but rev the engine and the vanes blossom to produce wild bursts of ponies and oxen.
That power is transmitted through equal length driveshafts to the front wheels by either a Getrag (German) 6-speed stick or, as in my case, an Aisin (Japanese) 6-speed automatic with sports and manual shift modes.
The automatic is so fast and intuitive that I don't use the manual mode.
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The MINI's svelte 2899 pounds combined with the crack-addicted hamsters spinning the front wheels produces the signature go-kart ride. Unfortunately, at the same time, the resulting torque steer is as rogue as Sarah Palin.
All the electronic nannies that BMW wires into the MINI can't control the torque steer. It's so pronounced that a punch of the gas pedal in a turn or quick maneuver is enough to spin the steering wheel out of your hands. Put the iPhone down and hang on with both hands or you could be in serious trouble.
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 Photo by Todd Bianco. WeHo News. |
My recommendation to BMW is to hire some front-drive engineers from its Fatherland competitor, Volkswagen. They seem to have figured out how to quell the torque steer demons.
The chassis is a textbook example of good engineering: Front McPherson struts, rear multi-links, electronic traction and stability control, 4-channel, oversized anti-lock brakes, blah blah blah... Yet nothing nothing makes the diminutive 100 inch wheel base ride well. I love parking this little car; I just hate the ride!
When you add the obligatory Sports Package, the 17 inch high-performance Dunlop run-flats are as unforgiving as concrete. Every patch of uneven surface is transmitted directly into the cabin.
Laurel Canyon (with no traffic) is the perfect road to explain the MINI's multiple personalities. It has crazy fun hairpin turns, stretches of perfect pavement, potholes, uneven surfaces, cracked concrete and decades of neglect. The razor-sharp electric power steering is a joy to use on this road. Love it.
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However, mash the gas pedal and turn the wheels on an uneven, cracked or protruding surface and the car jumps like it was hit by lightning! It's almost unsafe. In just a few minutes, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride is over. You're exhilarated, exhausted and smiling; but you need to see your chiropractor.
.jpg) Photo by Todd Bianco. WeHo News. |
Repeating this experience every day for extended periods leaves you more punished than rewarded.
I love the look of the Hot Chocolate Lounge Leather sports seats with cream piping and interior accents. But while they look good, they don't provide enough thigh and lateral support for my 6'1” 175 lb frame. After just an hour or two on the highway, my legs, back and butt become fatigued and I can't adjust the seats into a comfortable position. Power seats aren't even an option.
There are so many little things this car does well: Automatic bi-Xenon headlights, rain-sensing wipers, auto-dimming mirrors, HomeLink, back-up sensors, power-folding side mirrors, automatic climate control, Harmon Kardon premium sound with satellite and HD radio, iPod/iPhone integration, etc. In fact, MINI offers the widest array of premium features on any subcompact in the US. But you can't get a digital compass for any price. Huh?
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BMW continues to punish MINI owners with the overly-complicated, double-entry iDrive-type infotainment system when you order the navigation system. Sure it works, but it needs to be simplified.
.jpg) Photo by Todd Bianco. WeHo News. |
Power window, central locking and fog light toggle switches as well as climate controls are positioned much too low in the center console. A 700 ml water bottle in the cup holder blocks access to these functions. Very annoying.
The gigantic center-mount speedometer looks cool, but it's useless. If you want a speed readout, use the digital display in the tachometer directly in front of you. There is no engine temperature gauge. Nada.
The three-stage heated seats are also a BMW feature; but on the MINI, the heat doesn't extend far enough on your back or legs.
MINI includes the Premium Sound package with the Sports Package. Why? The short answer is because you have to have the extra power to hear anything at highway speed! It's also quite a challenge to shout over the road din when using the otherwise excellent Bluetooth hands-free phone system.
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.jpg) Photo by Todd Bianco. WeHo News. |
I thought that the rear barn doors with the center pillars would block my rear view. After a couple days, it's like it doesn't even exist. In fact, the whole cabin feels light and airy due to the upright windows and large glass dual pane sunroof. Overall visibility is excellent.
On the subject of the sunroof, what's with the screens that cover it? The net material is so transparent that it barely screens the summer sun. Oh, I forgot, they don't have sun in England.
I average 25 mpg when I drive a combination of highway and city miles. On the highway (I have a lead foot) I get 33 mpg. However, in the city, I get an unimpressive 18 mpg. MINI prescribes premium fuel. I use regular and it runs just fine.
The Comfort Access keyless system locks and unlocks the car with a little rubberized button on the door handles. The function can be very stubborn, particularly when you are in a hurry. Grrrrr. And the overly sensitive turn signals shut off with the slightest movement of the steering wheel. Arrrrr.
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So what am I to do with my multiple-personality English, French, Japanese and German MINI? Alas, he has too many personalities for me. However, we are only wed for 24 months, so when the lease is up, I'll be looking for a handsome German with rear drive.
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For many years, Todd “Evan” Bianco has written about cars and Los Angeles on his website acarisnotarefrigerator.com from his West Hollywood base.
Mr. Bianco’s focuses on the car biz and cars as they exist with us here in WeHo and Los Angeles, not in Detroit. He covers subjects as diverse as hybrid hype, the influence of the Asians in So Cal, trends, etc.
 WeHo News Publishes EVERY letter it gets | ALL WeHo News content is community-generated and written. |
Mr. Bianco had a weekly radio show on Sirius Out-Q for a year, and returned to the air with The John McMullen Show on KNEWS AM 870 * 1140 * 1250 knewsradio.com on March 3, 2008.